Bad movies I love: ‘Airport ’77’ is insipid, idiotic entertainment

AIRPORT ’77

By TERRY R. CASSREINO

Shortly after Jack Lemmon’s character is knocked out, his co-pilot takes control of the private Boeing 747 and crashes it in the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.

So begins “Airport ’77,” the second sequel to the 1970 film “Airport” – the original blockbuster disaster potboiler about a day at an airport and the flight threatened by a man with a bomb.

But “Airport ’77” is cheesier, more unbelievable and incredibly more melodramatic than “Airport” and its first awful sequel “Airport 1975.”

As the 747 sinks in the Atlantic and lands perilously on the edge of an abyss, the film becomes a sloppy, unintentionally funny riff on the disaster classic “The Poseidon Adventure.”

“Airport ’77” is incredibly contrived from the start. A wealthy philanthropist, played by an aging James Stewart drawn out of retirement to star in a major dud, ferries guests to his estate aboard his own private 747. The luxury jet is loaded with tons of priceless artwork eyed by the copilot and a band of thieves. More interestingly, the jet also features a huge main cabin with more legroom than you cabin ever imagine, a piano bar with a blind singer and a winding staircase that leads to an office and a bedroom.

JACK LEMMON IN AIRPORT ’77

On board for the disaster are the requisite group of mindless idiots who often find their way into disaster films. Each character knows Stewart. Each one carries carries significant personal baggage. Each one is a thinly developed, one-dimensional character.

One of the most memorable is Lee Grant, giving one of her bitchiest performances and making the best of a quick payday. She gives her lines a sharp, pointed delivery, much more than they deserve and way over the top.

Along for the ride are many has-been actors, folks like Stewart and Olivia de Havilland who hadn’t seen work in decades and whose presence was designed to lure moviegoers who hadn’t been to theaters in years. Then you have Kathleen Quinlan as Stewart’s estranged daughter who is taking her son to meet his grandfather for the first time.

I did’t even mention  Lemmon’s overwrought performance as the pilot. While he has done worse acting, this still ranks among his most desperate jobs. Poor guy. And he once was a great actor.

LOBBY CARD FROM AIRPORT ’77

Lemmon, de Haviland and the rest of the unfortunate crew and passengers find themselves trapped in the fuselage of a plane, dangling perilously on a ledge on the floor of the Atlantic and about to crumble from intense water pressure. Who will survive? When will the water crush the plane? Who brought their floaties?

As seawater seeps through the fuselage’s windows and floods compartments of the plane, we watch passengers frantically try to figure a way to stay dry. Meanwhile, rescuers led by George Kennedy – the only holdover from the original film – try to figure a way to save the craft and passengers.

Enlisting the help of the U.S. Navy, rescuers have an elaborate plan to use balloons to help lift the remains of the plane and rescue passengers.  

It all amounts to two hours of silly nonsense, bland characters, morose overacting and pathetic special effects. In other words, it’s the kind of bad film that I absolutely love – a movie held together by the inept direction of Jerry Jameson. This is truly wretched film making at its worst.

Jameson made a name for himself as the director of episodic television series such as “The Mod Squad” and “The Rookies.” He only shot four major films, including “Airport ’77”;  too bad he didn’t helm “The Concorde: Airport ‘79” because he might have made that film watchable.

As it is, Jameson’s amateurish film looks and plays like a TV movie. Despite that, audiences flocked to this lame film turning it into an unexpected box-office hit. Go figure.

Thanks to Netflix, you can rent the film on DVD or watch it on your computer or TV through the Netflix streaming service. If you are in the mood for mindless laughs, it’s worth a look. Below is the official theatrical trailer.